I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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