I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
