He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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