so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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