Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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