Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
