No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
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