We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
