So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize