Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
