what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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