why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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