For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
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