nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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