check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I don't think brook has ever known best
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
