it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
