the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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