So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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