You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
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