Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
