so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You're breaking my sexual little heart
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize