she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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