Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
