no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
