its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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