home. puking in laundry basket.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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