It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
