I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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