I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Sober January is a disaster.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I touched a dick in church today
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
