fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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