In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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