I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
