8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
