Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
