I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
