Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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