i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i wish my penis had a tongue
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
