I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Randomize
