dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize