I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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