remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
