I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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