I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
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