its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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