I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
