Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
