So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
