He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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