yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
