I'm drive I can fine osifer
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
