Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
