Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
