Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
