Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
