so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
