im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
