were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
