yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
