And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
