you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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