I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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