that's an acceptable place to lick
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
