I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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