They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Randomize
